Jesus tells us that it is the fear of awakening that holds us back from actually awakening. He says: “You have built your whole insane belief system because you think you would be helpless in God’s Presence, and you would save yourself from His Love because you think it would crush you into nothingness…” A Course in Miracles, Text, p.243. It is, of course, the ego that fears being crushed into nothingness, but we are not the ego. Yet, because we have identified with the ego for so long, it is understandable that the thought of relinquishing it is terrifying. It must be like giving up one’s home and thinking we do not have an alternative place of shelter.
The enlightened spiritual teacher David Hawkins, in his book Discovery of the Presence of God – Devotional Nonduality, p.293 described the fear he felt initially during a mystical experience in which he let go of the ego: “Suddenly, without warning, a shift in awareness occurred and the Presence was there, unmistakable and all encompassing. There were a few moments of apprehension as the self died, and then the absoluteness of the Presence inspired a flash of awe…There followed a moment of terror as the ego clung to its existence, fearing it would become nothingness. Instead, as it died, it was replaced by the Self as Everythingness….” He explained that, “to the ego, the fear of non-existence was formidable.…”
Could it be that the ego’s fear of non-existence is the root cause of all the fears we experience in our everyday lives? If this is so, we have a lot of fear to overcome. And as anger is a product of fear, we probably also have a lot of anger to release as well. But how do we do that? A Course in Miracles (ACIM) tells us: “You must look upon your illusions and not keep them hidden…For beneath them, and concealed as long as they are hidden, is the loving mind that thought it made them in anger.” Text, p.243. Therefore, we have to be self-observant and vigilant, and release any anger and fear that we become aware of by passing them on to the Holy Spirit so that He can transmute them into love. We simply call upon Him and ask him to turn our thoughts to “right mindedness,” which is a term that is used in ACIM. If we succeed in handing over all our anger and fear, we may come to the realisation which David Hawkins came to that: “One is total and complete…One need never again fear suffering and death.”
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